It's that time of year

My BSG viewing has come to an end – finished the series last night. (I DID get the middle-aged romance I wanted, too. And it was better than I even expected! You can see many, many clips on YouTube set to music. People's music choices crack me up.)

Anyway, the wrap-up itself brought decent closure, although it didn’t end the way I would’ve ended it. I’ll be rewriting the ending in my head for a few days, I think.

The good thing about being single/watching BSG alone is that I didn’t have to wait for another person to be around before I watched. I know a couple who is also watching right now, but the wife is out of town, so the husband has to wait until she’s home before he can move on to the next episode. This seems so restrictive to me. I do what I want. I’m a loner. A rebel.

However, the very negative side of my solo-watching is that there’s no one to discuss things with, especially in real-time. I want someone to look at and say “holy frak” when things start getting crazy. And I want long discussions about people and places and things that are happening. I find myself searching out year-old discussion boards and reading through comments, just to get my fix. It’s a dilemma.

I’m always sad to finish a good TV series, even though finishing it means I can get back to actually focusing on things other than making time to watch TV.

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Couple of song-related observations: have you listened to the lyrics of “Here Comes Santa Clause”? It mixes God and Santa all up in an interesting way.

Last night we were doing our yoga poses to Silent Night and then saying Namaste. Mixing East and West like this is jarring to me, although the teacher is more about feel-good mystical Oprah-esque type affirmations, I think, than concern about what fits. Take whatever makes you feel good and mix it all together to find your path. Blech.

One of my favorite lyrics from a Christmas song: “from Pennsylvania folks are traveling down to Dixie’s sunny shores”—mostly because this line perfectly describes what I do every year.

(Do you know what the next line is without looking?)

Livestream of Consciousness

This morning I woke at 7 AM to the muffled sound of a recorded message on an answering machine. The machine wasn’t mine. I could hear the names being recited, though: if you’d like to leave a message for her, press 1, for him, press 2, etc.

This puzzled me, but as I am wont to do early in the morning, I decided it was my neighbor’s machine through the wall.

Until I realized I recognized the names that were being recited, and I knew wasn’t my neighbor – it was the agency I’d phoned yesterday.

I jumped up, thinking I was insane, and began searching for the source of the sounds. I found my cell phone in the bed—I had been lying on it—and the phone itself had placed a call to said agency. I pressed a bunch of buttons but couldn’t get it to hang up. Closed and reopened it—nothing. (Although I was still fuzzy-headed at this point and I have no idea if this was the phone or my brain’s problem.)

I finally got the call to end, and I checked my “Calls Made” list. Every single one of the 20 recent calls made was to that agency phone number. Thank God it was early enough that they weren’t in the office. I really, really hope they don’t have caller ID.

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One of my Facebook friends referred to “Baby It’s Cold Outside” as the date-rape song. My first reaction was “oh, stop, it’s not about date rape” because I thought it was just about a boy trying to persuade a girl not to leave his house. But today when I heard it on the radio I listened to the lyrics, and I really think you can make the case that it IS a date-rape song. “What’s in this drink?” the girl asks at one point. Roofies, honey.

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I am declaring that I like sausage. (Get your minds out of the gutter. I’m talking about the actual product.) It was always something I thought I shouldn’t like, because basically it’s just scraps of pig ground up together and stuffed in a casing—gross, right? Well, it can be. BUT . . . good sausage is actually really tasty and awesome. So, I love sausage. Deal with it.

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I’m burning through my Battlestar Galactica discs at a rapid pace. I rent 5 discs at the video store and finish them in a matter of three or four days. I really, really love this show—but not the spiritual, dreamy Cylon/God/gods crap. I don’t care about that. I like the relationships on the Galactica, the political intrigue, the questions about torture, choices, military action, and (occasionally) some space battles. Really, I would be happy if most of the episodes were just relationship eps. I just noticed in an upcoming one that a character will be dealing with his failed marriage, and that’s the kind of thing that sends thrills through me. Dealings with failed marriages! Hooray!

I think I’m getting old, because I find myself rooting for middle-aged hookups. Of course the hot young people with the sexual chemistry should get together, and of course they will. But what about the older people? They need love and companionship, too! They’re friends who care about each other! They’re both single! Why aren’t they together?! The scenes won’t be the same; there won’t be any blue-lit shots of smooth skin and limbs entwined, because no one wants to see 50-year-old skin, but still. Make it happen, writers. (When the writers don’t write the stories I want them to, I make up new stories in my head when going on walks. I can’t rest until the characters are doing what I think they should do . . . and I'm actually kind of good at calling it. Basically what I thought should happen DID happen in an episode last night. Good times.)

Anyway, if you’re not watching BSG, you should be. That’s the lesson here.

Do you need some time. On your own.

The days just fly by and I forget to blog!

Not really. I think about it and then I don’t do it, that’s the real problem.

Anyway, Halloween came and went, and I didn’t do any of the dressing up I’d planned, not even a good bible character. I did go to the church party, however, and was very impressed by everyone’s costumes. Also, we had to act out skits as part of the fun, and two different groups chose the story of Elisha and the kids and the bears, which is a gruesome story, but super fun to act out. Hey, at least we can have fun with Old Testament horror.

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My current obsession is Battlestar Galactica. I am, as one of my co-workers said, the “Michael Phelps of DVD watching” and that is true. But mostly because I become obsessed and stay up too late and watch nothing but episode after episode. In a week I’ve finished Season 1 and moved on to Season 2. And I was just reading an article online (completely unrelated to BSG) where someone had posted a list of names in the comment section. I passed over that comment without really paying attention, but then I noticed that someone in the same thread was like “OMG BSG spoiler” and I realized that the list of names WAS related to BSG and also probably was a spoiler. I closed the window quickly, but you can’t un-see that! I actually wish the second commenter hadn’t pointed it out.

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The heat is not on in my house yet! It’s a holiday miracle! After a freezing cold October, November really warmed up and thus I haven’t had to turn the heat on, nor has it turned ITSELF on. If I can make it to Thanksgiving, that will be amazing.

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I have to do a lot of phone call interviews for work these days, and it blows. I hate hate hate the phone and everything about phone calls—unless it’s to people I know very well—and even then I’m just as happy with email and texts and IMs. So I’m stalling on the phone interviews bigtime, but I can’t put it off forever. The dreading is actually worse than the calling, so I should just bite the bullet and deal.

Open the Wells

So, remember what you were doing last year at this time?

I was sitting at work (old job) trying not to freak out about the election that was happening. I had already voted, but was nervously reading what I could on the internet and thinking about my nighttime plans. I went home in the dark and looked at exit polls until it was time to go watch the returns with my friends.

I also nearly got into a loud argument with my friend’s boyfriend’s sister about whether the Iraq war was the cause of the economic collapse (which it SO wasn’t, I’m sorry. I hate the war, but I also can’t put up with biased stupidity, be it liberal or conservative). I did back off, because I realized it wasn't going anywhere good. Plus we were both guests in someone else's home. But I was right.

*

Speaking of biased stupidity, I had to hide a Facebook friend the other day because she was posting crap. I don’t like hiding Facebook friends, but I do it for the sake of my blood pressure. I do hate political arguments on Facebook, but I also hate misinformation, so I want to go on there and correct it – and that LEADS to political arguments. Vicious cycle.

I intend to send a letter to Facebook requesting the ability to hide status updates based on words contained therein.

For example: Hide all posts from [Name of friend] containing the word [Palin] or [Obama]

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I think I should write a novel this month, since it’s National Novel Writing Month. If I start tomorrow, I only have to write 2000 words a day, which should be too hard, right? I have an idea, but fleshing it out is the hard part.

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I’m listening to hymns as I type this and enjoying it immensely. My birth plan, should I ever have a child, is to go into a dark room and be completely alone. I used to say this as a joke, but now I take it more seriously because a) I realized that’s a legitimate response and birth plan, and b) I really, really like being left alone when I am in pain. But I would listen to hymns.

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Last night I put on The Biggest Loser and saw them doing their weigh-in on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Congrats, Lincoln, you saved the Union at the cost of 620,000 lives . . . so the morbidly obese could weigh themselves in Washington, D.C. The people who produce that show must take themselves awfully seriously, is all I’m saying.

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If the Yankees are going to win this World Series, they need to do it tonight. There’s no reason to have a Game 7 and mess up my Thursday evening TV plans if the Phillies are going to lose.

Summer doldrums

I’m trying to blog once a week, but sometimes there just isn’t much to say, ya know?

Since I left the old job, I don’t have a lot of good co-worker stories (mostly because I have no co-workers) and drama is pretty much non-existent. I come to my office, do some work, eat some stuff, IM some people, etc.

Earlier this week I helped out with the family of multiples that I sometimes go visit. The kids are now two, and they change every time I see them, stretching out and looking more like kids than babies. We took them out (the first time I’ve gone out with them) to the park and the mall play area, and it was insanity. Three adults barely had a handle on the situation. Multiple toddlers, going multiple directions, in the middle of a mall? Their mom is brave. But they are still amazingly adorable and learning so much. Toddlerhood is exhausting, but fascinating.

Yesterday I ate two bananas, some cantaloupe, watermelon, blueberries, and tomatoes. Yeah, summer!

I want Mad Men to start again. I want a new camera. I want to take a long vacation.

Super Tuesday

Hi-dilly Ho, Neglecterinos!
I've been sadly neglecting my blog lately. Mostly I've been neglecting everything (minus work) and coming home to hole up and watch HBO series on DVD. Six Feet Under and The Wire. My co-worker called me the "Michael Phelps of HBO DVD watching" so I guess that's something.

So I'm done with The Wire forever. Boo. Season 5 was good, but I really think The Wire peaked at Season 4. Season 4 broke your heart; Season 5 is the cynical burst of laughter that comes after your heart has been broken and you can't care anymore. Or something. Although if Dukie doesn't break your heart again, you have no heart. Just a cold black hole.

Buy Fresh, Buy Local--Thwarted!
I have been bitching regularly about the fact that local produce in our grocery stores actually costs MORE than the stuff from out of town. Wha?! So today after work I drove to CVS to get cash (because who ever has cash) and then stopped at 2 (TWO!) road side stands to buy corn, tomatoes, cantelope, and watermelon. I only had the $20, but I expected to be able to make change . . . isn't that the whole point of the honor system?! Leave that cash out where I can get it.

But no! No change! Nada! And so despite the extra trip to CVS and pulling off the road twice to check out the stands, I was foiled by society. So I stopped at Weis and bought two local peaches (unripe!) and a baguette. The baguette is what I had for dinner. I thought I had cheese here, but that was not the case.

My Next 30 Years
Oh, and today I realized that my birthday is exactly one month away. I remember feeling panicked on my 20th birthday, which is funny looking back now. The 20s have been the best decade so far . . . and I've definitely learned the most about life. So maybe the 30s will be even better that way.

But I'm still going to be panicking. Also reading the letter I wrote to my 30-year-old self from my 20-year-old self. So that should be interesting.

Ad it up

Every year our church has Bible School in the summer—essentially a week of evenings in which kids from pre-school to 8^th grade can come for activities and fun and bible stories. And every year (almost), I’ve helped.

This year was no different, and I signed up to lead a station. You might remember last year, when I led Anabaptist Adventure, and the kids chased each other around the church pretending to be either a) Anabaptists or b) the persecutors.

But this year I led the station on Media Messages, and the way advertisers get you to buy their products by putting all sorts of messages into their ads. Seems appropriate, since by day I’m the one putting messages into them. Maybe I’m helping to counteract what I do during the day. And honestly, if I could create a world where advertising didn’t work, I would be okay with that, even if it put me out of a job.

But I’m still something of a hypocrite.

Anyway, it was all good and I feel like I did my small part, and the kids got something out of it. I didn’t have the preschoolers, but the 1^st and 2^nd graders were my favorite group. They were very wide-eyed and interested, and they seemed to catch on pretty quickly. Even at that age they know that ads aren’t real, and they could pretty quickly figure out who the ads were aimed at and what the messages were.

(For some reason, two different girls brought up the ProActive infomercial to me. Must’ve made some kind of impression.)

I realized quickly how out-of-touch I am with kids stuff, too. I taped some commercials off TV on Saturday morning so I could show them, all of which I’d never seen in my life, and those kids knew every one and could quote them. The moment the commercial came on they knew what it was and what it was for.

And on another topic, yet related to media, I guess—I finished the last episode of Six Feet Under last night. Good gracious (for some reason I’ve caught myself talking like an old lady recently) was that emotional. At the end of it I was literally sobbing—not just teary, but full-on snuffling, gasping sobs (the ugly kind of crying.) I recommend it, but be prepared!

Collection

I really, really like the new Coldplay single.

Season 5 of The Wire comes out in August! My coworker (my supplier) has promised he's buying it and will let me watch it! But my homegirl (who got hooked after I did) has downloaded it illegally and gets to watch it. I refuse to let her speak about it.

Why, oh why, do people get obsessed with living with bears?

I think yet another person at my office is getting separated/divorced. That's the rumor, anyway. That makes four in the department in the last 18 months.

I've become the default city dog-sitter. I may never get to sleep in on a Saturday again. I wonder if I could turn this into a business? I think I could SEO the heck out of a dog-sitting website.

Have I talked here about my girlcrush on Michelle Obama? She's just awesome, and I love her and Barack. One of my homegirls and I squeal about the two of them every other day. Sometimes I just love being ridiculous.

No Comment

Why do I read comments on the internet?

I already have slightly misanthropic tendencies, and they are only exaggerated by comments on things like CNN’s Ticker, which is a political blog. The stupidity of the comments on that thing make my blood pressure skyrocket, and yet I keep going back. It’s like watching Bill O’Reilly just so you can get mad at him.

(Speaking of, did you see his Inside Edition freakout video? That man is horrible.)

So, I just need to quit going there. The Hillary vs. Obama discussions in the Ticker is what put me over the edge. Hillary’s got quite a group of vocal supporters, people proclaiming that OMG OBAMA CAN’T WIN IN NOVEMBER!!!! WHITE PEOPLE WILL NOT VOTE FOR HIM!!!! HILLARY IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BEAT MCCAIN AND I WILL NEVER VOTE FOR OBAMA OR HIS HATER SUPPORTRES. HILLARY OR MCCAIN ’08!!!!!!!

Basically written exactly like that.

Or they’ll direct messages directly to Obama or Clinton—like they come onto CNN and read the comments. I worry for the future of our country.

But . . . my favorite pop culture board (the AV Club) is always rife with hilarious comments. Yesterday’s there was a post about cocktails, specifically Sex & the City themed drinks, and that got the commenters riffing on possible LOST-themed drinks.

Here’s a sampling:

The Sayid: Fig-flavored syrup mixed with coke and Vladimir Vodka. Like, you know, cause figs are popular in the mid-east, right? And the coke keeps it from being too ethnic.

The Jack: Empire apple juice (the fruit of leaders) and cinnamon mixed with Vladimir in a powerful mug.

The Sawyer: Vladimir with a roophie slipped in. You never know when that Sawyer's going to play some con!

The Bernard: Vladimir Vodka strait up with a Worther's Original floating in it. And when ever you get it, you just wish you could get rid of it. It’s the worst drink at the bar

The Hurley: Mix Vladimir Vodka and Dharma-issue Ranch Dressing. Blend.

The Charlie: Bombay Sapphire and heroine w/ a splash of sea water

The Claire: A Foster's and Glenlivet boilermaker topped with breast milk.

The Michael: MAAAAALLLLLLTTT liquor and Vladimir vodka

The Jin: Gin.

The Mikhail Bakunin: Vodka + whatever you want. You make it yourself because you don't need some damned elitist bartender to tell you how to construct your drink. Also, free refills keep coming back unexpectedly.

And my favorite (non-Lost related):
The M. Night Shymalan: Nothing. With a twist.

And so, internet comments have been redeemed.

Post It

So nobody guessed anything on my last entry. Dudes! It’s Bunk and McNulty! There’s a guy who illustrates a bunch of The Wire characters in Simpson form. There are only 5, but you can see them all here.

Last week was Employee Appreciation Day here at the old job. We got lots o’ free food throughout the week, including two breakfasts. One day was video game day and I played Wii for the first time (tennis=hard, bowling=not so hard) and got a chair massage. Guitar Hero was also set up in the big room right across from my desk. If I hear Slow Ride one more time . . . .

May is quickly becoming my favorite month, I think. It’s just about perfect. The weather is mostly awesome and everything seems happy and full of potential. I take trips, Memorial Day comes (our first holiday off since New Year’s) and summer hasn’t gotten hot and old yet. Also this May I got an extra $600, which is pretty sweet and makes everything a little better.

I thought I had something of interest to write here. Apparently not.

Take a Guess

They may LOOK like Simpsons characters, but who are they really?
(If you've seen this elsewhere on the internets, keep it to yourself)

Wired

Spring isn't quite here yet, but more light after work and days where I throw my coat on without bundling up are making it seem imminent. And then there are plans being made--Florida this weekend, Easter next weekend, even some summer weekends. Very slowly, it seems like everything is gaining momentum--life is gaining momentum.

I'm working my second job now. Typing ads two nights a week. It's interesting, kind of mindless and relaxing, and I'm learning about all kinds of things I never knew before. I type ads for farm equipment, so I'm starting to learn that lingo. I drool over the real estate listings: who wants to buy 5000 acres in Clearfield County with me? Create a compound for the End-of-the-World-As-We-Know-It? Oh, and cars: I thought I understood the basics, but I never knew there was such a thing as a Cummins Diesel or an Allison transmission (those show up in a lot of ads). And what is GVW in reference to trucks? Usually with a number attached?

And of course, a Wire update. I have 3 episodes left in Season 4 and so I'm all caught up in the trials of the Baltimore City School District and the race for Mayor. Season 3 was also phenomenal--watch it if you haven't! Really, each season is like a book with chapters and you have to pay close attention if you want to catch everything. I recommend turning subtitles on for clarity.What's currently driving me nuts is all The Wire discussion on the web--because it's all about Season 5, and if I read it I will hear spoilers that I don't want to hear. But I want to read those discussions SO badly, especially when I see references to characters that I love (Omar! Cutty!). I hope it's all archived. My co-worker assured me that he will be purchasing Season 5, and that I can borrow it once he watches it (after it comes out on DVD, natch).

And that is all for now.

Least complicated

In my desperate search to locate "The Wire" online, I seem to inadvertently infected myself with spyware. I realize when you dance with the devil that is illegal downloading, you open yourself up to various consequences, but spyware is embarrassing. It's seems like it's only for old people; people with AOL as their primary (and only) email address, who click on various popups in order to get free widgets or because they just get confused. I am not one of those people, and yet I'm infected. Fortunately, I've dealt with this before and I can go get help. On my own, because I am savvy!

So why was I looking for The Wire online when I have all four seasons on DVD? Well, I was horrified when I discovered that the Season 2 set was missing one disc. I'd just finished episode 7 and went to pull out the disc with 8-10, only to find it was not in its case. Horrors! Despite all my efforts, I wasn't willing to wait 1d8h to download the eps I wanted, so I read some summaries and went on to Episodes 11-12. Now I've started Season 3. It's beginning to feel like overdosing, but I'm addicted and I'll be very sorry when my stash runs out.

In other randomness, here's my favorite comment from a message board discussing the TV show Quarterlife:
I blame shows like this, that make everyone think their life should be filled with beautiful people and significant drama. The sooner you realize that the highlight of your week will be a trip to the Olive Garden (if you're lucky) the sooner you'll get over your Quarterlife Crisis.

Words to live by, 20somethings. Get over it.

Score! (update)

Look what was waiting for me on my desk today!


the next 36 spare hours of my life

And look what I won in the Oscar drawing at Blockbuster!


Candy and a giant popcorn tub

Score!

My co-worker actually has all 4 seasons of The Wire! I don't have to spend any money on ANY of them, and I can watch them all immediately instead of buying them or waiting for them to show up at stupid Blockbuster. (I finished Season 1 Friday night by watching 7 episodes in a row).

Speaking of Blockbuster, I entered a drawing to pick the winners of major categories at the Oscars. I definitely got Best Supporting Actress and Best Actress wrong, but I think I did well on the other ones. I wonder if I'll win anything?

Total Eclipse of the Moon

The roads are slidey tonight. I just got back from the gym, but I found myself holding my breath as I went around most corners on the drives there and back. But the MINI came through. I got my hair cut tonight and drove home through the snow just as the last bit of daylight was vanishing. I took back roads to the highway, looking out over the fields and houses blanketed under, all peaceful and quiet, and I remembered why I do (mostly) like snow. I just don't like the chores related to snow: the driving and parking and scraping and shoveling.

Also weather-related; the moon is eclipsing as we speak; all the snow clouds have moved on, so you can see it getting eaten up by the black shadow (dum-dum-DUM).

Now I'm snug and warm and tired in my bed, but I need to watch at least one episode of The Wire. I borrowed Season I from a guy at work, and it's pretty addicting. I have a little crush on McNulty, and I want D'Angelo to GET OUT now, and I'm afraid for Bubbles and that undercover guy, and I want to know if that one cop really IS dirty. I'm only about to start Episode 4. Of Season I. So I have a long way to go.

'Tis the Season

For depression and break-ups.

Monday was, apparently, the most depressing day of the year according to some sociologists. It always comes around during the third Monday in January—what with the cold and the dark and the holiday bills and the collapsed resolutions. This past Monday was MLK day, however, and a bunch of people didn’t even have to GO to work.

So I don’t know why the depressing day wasn’t Tuesday.

Since the holidays, two people at work have ended major relationships. One, a divorce, I just found out about yesterday. The other one was essentially a marriage, but not technically (10 years together, two kids). I suppose it makes it easier to end it, when it’s not official (legally easier, I mean, not emotionally).

So in the past few days I have gotten to hear two very irritated female co-workers on the phone with their exes, talking as if they’re trying to explain something to a small, petulant child.

Last year another co-worker ended a marriage around this time, and people on blogs I read always seem to be breaking up in January.

But there’s good news: the government might give everyone $300 or more, so bonus! For me, however, it’s going straight into either a) my savings account, or b) my bills that I pay anyway. I’m not sure that the economy is going to get much stimulation.

And isn’t it kind of sick that the stuff that financial advisors say we should do (save, don’t spend beyond our means) is actually BAD for our economy. The growth of our economy seems to be based on financially ruining everyone except the very rich. And the growth of my 401(k) depends on other people borrowing lots of money, living on credit, and running their finances into the ground.

Not to mention that housing starts are an important economic indicator. So if we’re not ruining the planet by erecting poorly constructed McMansions, the economy suffers.

This all seems very cannibalistic, and an extra poor long-term plan. I think we’re all screwed.

See also: The Moment of Truth

Weekend

Hello! I should finish my Honduras trip recounting here, but I don't really feel like it. You can see pictures on Jen's Facebook if you really WANT to. We went to a Children's Home on Tuesday, Christmas Day. It was much nicer than I expected--much more in terms of resources, I mean--and the kids were not desperately needy. They seemed generally cared for with plenty of attention. So we played and colored with them, I was commandeered as the personal playmate of a girl named--as close as I could tell--Biki, and I followed her around and did what she told me. "Push me" (on the swings) is pretty much understandable in any language.

Oh, look. I just recounted! Done!

I spent a good chunk of this weekend watching nuclear annihilation films on YouTube. These are movies produced in Britain in the mid-eighties, and they are not good. No triumph of the human spirit or hope for the future. Just horrible, horrible death and destruction. Had I seen these movies as a child, I would've been traumatized for life. I shudder to think how they would've screwed me up. But now they're just really disturbing.

I cry fairly easily, about many things. TV commercials, thinking about parent-child relationships, listening to sad songs, seeing a mother and her handicapped son at Kmart. But when I watch something horrifying, I can't cry. I don't feel like crying, I just feel this sense of growing dismay in my chest, like a lump getting bigger and bigger as the problems worsen. That's what these movies did to me.

So, why did I watch them? They were fascinating, for one. And interesting, and a piece of history (albeit very recent). If you are interested in what will happen in or after a nuclear war, you should watch. When the Wind Blows is an animated movie, but I would never, ever show it to a child. It's just two old people trying to prepare for a nuclear bomb and then what happens to them afterward. Very bad things. And Threads is live-action, very cheaply filmed, but still completely disturbing.

Mike and I had our End-of-the-World party in 2006, and we watched Armageddon and Deep Impact and drank some beer. If we'd had an End-of-the-World party with WtWB and Threads, a) we'd have needed something stronger than beer, and b) we would have just kept drinking.

December Dabbling

I'm flipping back and forth between a really stupid show on NBC (I think it's Life, and it's really annoying me) and the Patriots-Ravens game, which is also really annoying me. If the Patriots even lose to the Ravens . . .

So today I almost killed my boss by turning left into an intersection when the LIGHT WAS RED. What is my problem? I mean, she was talking and I was listening, so maybe that says something about my listening skills. On the other hand, it says nothing about my multi-tasking skills. Because clearly I can't listen and drive at the same time. Sometimes my brain goes on hiatus when I'm driving, and I completely miss things like red lights. Fortunately that's rare. Today it just happened to take place when my boss was sitting in the passenger seat. Thank God nothing happened. This takes place only a few weeks after I set off the smoke alarm in the company kitchen, promptly summoning the fire department. Flighty is about the last word you'd use to describe me, though, so I think these are just random incidents. Unless I'm developing frontal lobe dementia. In which case I'm actually regressing.

Last week I was worried because I thought I was gaining weight. This week, I'm back to normal. How do you gain three pounds one week and lose them the next? Ridiculous.

I have a small crush on a guy at work, but not for any good reason. It's not even a crush. He's an insensitive frat-boy type, very funny, somewhat shallow, occasionally obnoxious. And yet, I feel like if I could get him to acknowledge me in THAT way, well, I will have won something. Like it would be some kind of triumph. So this "crush" is nothing but combative, and I mostly laugh at myself. Sheesh.

Last weekend there was supposed to be inches of snow and freezing rain--a mild apocalypse, crazy treacherous roads. Guess what happened? Absolutely nothing. Today's forecast: 50 mph winds and resulting horrors. Again, nothing too extreme took place. A few flurries. Local weather forecasters should be banned from TV. They do nothing except create mass hysteria--and giant letdowns when nothing happens.

What not to wear (or something)

I'm sitting here watching Jeopardy, which is nerdishly fun, and yelling "The Hague!" at the contestants. Who aren't getting it. And I actually answered a question correctly in the category Mexican Filmmakers, which is surprising. If I were on the show and that came up as a Final Jeopardy category, I'd wager exactly $0. But the question was about the third Harry Potter movie (what's it called?) and so it was pretty easy.

Do you know which Chilean dog "Pastor Alaman" refers to? I so should've gotten this one. It's not a specifically Chilean breed.

I need a funny Halloween costume. Last year I was a hippie, because I had a hippie dress. This year, I got nothing. Well, I have a boring-ish wench costume for a party, but I don't want to wear that to work. I have no shot at winning a prize with THAT.

My co-worker was saying the other day that girls are always "slut" somethings for Halloween. And it's essentially true. Slut nurse, slut flight attendant, slut something else. I'm not into that, at all, so that limits the options.

I waited too long to order a costume. Any genius do-it-yourself funny costume ideas out there? That people will actually get? 'Cause otherwise I'll just go as Liz Lemon and no one will know who I am.