Cloverfield II: All text, all the time

Today one of the pop culture blogs I read had an item about the Cloverfield II movie that’s apparently in the works. One of the posters commented that “to maintain the theme of technological commentary, Cloverfield 2 will be presented entirely as a series of text messages.” And then another poster took it upon himself to illustrate:

omg, wr r u?
r u ded?!!
monstr et mom!!11
rofl
jk

-------------------------------------------------------

There were also plenty of new names suggested. The best:

Over and Over: Crimson and Cloverfield
Clover vs. Field: Requiem
Cloverfield 2: Barbaro's Return
Cloverfield: The (American) Empire Strikes Back

If you want to read the whole thread, it lives here.

Monday Madness

Several months ago I created an anonymous email address on Yahoo. I set it up so I could secretly investigate someone at work who I suspected was a crazy liar. I was surprised I got the email addresss I'd requested, because it was fairly simple, with no numbers. Just two letters, a last name, and the Yahoo domain. And who ever gets an account that simple in this day and age?

But I often get random emails from real people in that account. I got some forwards from an old guy who thought I was some friend. I got some college emails meant for a kid named Ryan awhile ago. I hadn't checked for months, but today when I logged in I had a bunch of emails from an online dating site. Not for me, for a woman from out west, a divorcee with two kids who'd created a profile. Her account info and password were also there in my inbox, as were various messages from men responding to her profile. I decided to see if I could actually log-in (I had to see). And it worked. I have complete back office access to this woman's account. I might be able to get her credit card number. And I could certainly wreak havoc with her love life.

I won't do any of that of course. But good grief, this does not seem safe at all.

Speaking of unsafe, I almost got into an accident on the way home from work today. I was on my way back to the highway when a pickup truck pulled right out in front of me. He was pulling through a long line of cars to turn left, so I assume his view was restricted, but still! I had to slam on my brakes, as hard as I could, all the while thinking "this is not going to be good." It's funny how much time your brain has to think in just a few seconds.

Anyway, it turned out that the front right side of my car just scraped against his back tire and left a lot of black rubber marks which I think will rub off. But the guy didn't pull over or stop to see if my car was okay or anything. I got his license number and ended up following him up onto 283, just because we were going the same direction. And I noticed he was an old guy, which made me less mad. But I'm still a little pissed.

So now I have an alias email address, an old guy's license plate number, and unlimited access to some woman's online dating account. Just watch out.

'Tis the Season

For depression and break-ups.

Monday was, apparently, the most depressing day of the year according to some sociologists. It always comes around during the third Monday in January—what with the cold and the dark and the holiday bills and the collapsed resolutions. This past Monday was MLK day, however, and a bunch of people didn’t even have to GO to work.

So I don’t know why the depressing day wasn’t Tuesday.

Since the holidays, two people at work have ended major relationships. One, a divorce, I just found out about yesterday. The other one was essentially a marriage, but not technically (10 years together, two kids). I suppose it makes it easier to end it, when it’s not official (legally easier, I mean, not emotionally).

So in the past few days I have gotten to hear two very irritated female co-workers on the phone with their exes, talking as if they’re trying to explain something to a small, petulant child.

Last year another co-worker ended a marriage around this time, and people on blogs I read always seem to be breaking up in January.

But there’s good news: the government might give everyone $300 or more, so bonus! For me, however, it’s going straight into either a) my savings account, or b) my bills that I pay anyway. I’m not sure that the economy is going to get much stimulation.

And isn’t it kind of sick that the stuff that financial advisors say we should do (save, don’t spend beyond our means) is actually BAD for our economy. The growth of our economy seems to be based on financially ruining everyone except the very rich. And the growth of my 401(k) depends on other people borrowing lots of money, living on credit, and running their finances into the ground.

Not to mention that housing starts are an important economic indicator. So if we’re not ruining the planet by erecting poorly constructed McMansions, the economy suffers.

This all seems very cannibalistic, and an extra poor long-term plan. I think we’re all screwed.

See also: The Moment of Truth

This Winter Night

I have decided that the laugh track is equal to the exclamation point. Today, because I didn't change the channel, Two and a Half Men came on TV. I don't really like this show, although I like it better than Raymond; it's definitely what my dad would refer to as "trash" (which is how he refers to shows with sex jokes that he doesn't think are funny). Anyway, the jokes written out would be completely unfunny, and if were spoken deadpan would also not be funny. But . . . with the laugh track, it's like a little pop that lets you know what you're supposed to feel. Same with the exclamation point. I use it in my copywriting whenever my stuff is weaker than it should be, or when I feel like people won't get the point unless I do it. Which is lazy, actually, but sometimes just necessary.

My coworkers were laughing at me today, because I said I was going to Florida in March (which I am, for a long weekend). They laughed because in the past four months I have been to Saskatchewan, Boston, and Honduras. Then Florida in March, and hopefully a trip to Chicago in June for a wedding reception (the wedding was last year, but they had no money for a party). I was only in Chicago once, when I was nine, so this could be fun.

My brother--lucky bastard that he is--might be getting yet another promotion. Might be--there is nothing certain yet. He is like the prince of his company at the moment; they all love him and seem to be grooming him. He's 26, and conducts himself like a 36-year-old (in a good way, what with the confidence and sensibility and everything), and lives like a 46-year-old, what with his stay-at-home wife and automatic garage door and Cadillac. Who has this at 26? At this rate it seems like he could be CEO of a major multi-national beverage company by the time he's 50. He regularly calls my parents and asks for advice, which I know they appreciate. My parents are wicked smart about business and related life stuff.

Ah, so I have no idea what the point of this post was. Just an update.

Nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching . . .

I'm sick. I don't know why I can't get a cold that doesn't include fevers, chills, aches, etc. Aren't there colds like that? Just a stuffed-up nose and a cough? If there are, I don't get them anymore. Today was bad at work. I'm useless when I'm sick; my brain is foggy and I just sit there like a mouth-breathing walrus and look at things on the internet. During lunch I found a forgotten meeting room and slept in a chair, covered by my coat.

I think I got my cold in Philly on Saturday. I drove down to visit Joy, who was sick from the kids she's been babysitting and also apparently highly contagious. While there, I went to Ikea and bought a new dresser. Cheap! I put it together myself last night, and finished it today. It's not the color I expected, nor does it match any of my other furniture, but whatevs. It's cool. I took a picture; I'm always proud of constructing my own furniture--following the directions, using a screwdriver, and ending up with this:


Behold the Goodness

Life on the Farm

Blerg. I have nothing to write in this blog at the moment. So, I'll just come up with something. I'm sick of seeing the same post at the top of my blog.

I've been thinking a lot about farms and self-sufficiency and living in community on a farm lately. It just keeps coming up in various contexts. At work on Friday we ended up having a conversation about what you would do if you owned a farm and were offered $3 million from a developer to purchase it. (what would you do?) Why this came up? I don't know . . . I didn't bring it up. But early in the day I'd been exchanging some emails about The Omnivore's Dilemma. And one of my friends just started an intentional community Facebook group--her dream is to have a farm full of awesome people living in community (in private houses, though) and so I joined that. And I got this book for Christmas. So really, I can't get away from this whole idea.

It's weird theme running through my life right now--and yet it has very little to do with what I'm currently doing. Maybe it's a sign.

I just need $3 million to buy a farm . . .

Weekend

Hello! I should finish my Honduras trip recounting here, but I don't really feel like it. You can see pictures on Jen's Facebook if you really WANT to. We went to a Children's Home on Tuesday, Christmas Day. It was much nicer than I expected--much more in terms of resources, I mean--and the kids were not desperately needy. They seemed generally cared for with plenty of attention. So we played and colored with them, I was commandeered as the personal playmate of a girl named--as close as I could tell--Biki, and I followed her around and did what she told me. "Push me" (on the swings) is pretty much understandable in any language.

Oh, look. I just recounted! Done!

I spent a good chunk of this weekend watching nuclear annihilation films on YouTube. These are movies produced in Britain in the mid-eighties, and they are not good. No triumph of the human spirit or hope for the future. Just horrible, horrible death and destruction. Had I seen these movies as a child, I would've been traumatized for life. I shudder to think how they would've screwed me up. But now they're just really disturbing.

I cry fairly easily, about many things. TV commercials, thinking about parent-child relationships, listening to sad songs, seeing a mother and her handicapped son at Kmart. But when I watch something horrifying, I can't cry. I don't feel like crying, I just feel this sense of growing dismay in my chest, like a lump getting bigger and bigger as the problems worsen. That's what these movies did to me.

So, why did I watch them? They were fascinating, for one. And interesting, and a piece of history (albeit very recent). If you are interested in what will happen in or after a nuclear war, you should watch. When the Wind Blows is an animated movie, but I would never, ever show it to a child. It's just two old people trying to prepare for a nuclear bomb and then what happens to them afterward. Very bad things. And Threads is live-action, very cheaply filmed, but still completely disturbing.

Mike and I had our End-of-the-World party in 2006, and we watched Armageddon and Deep Impact and drank some beer. If we'd had an End-of-the-World party with WtWB and Threads, a) we'd have needed something stronger than beer, and b) we would have just kept drinking.

Please go chasing waterfalls . . .

The Honduras narrative is coming to an end (one more day after these two). Good times!

On Sunday, December 23 we went to some deserted Mayan ruins that were very cool. Copan is apparently the big set of very popular and touristy ruins, but these, called El Puente, were much smaller. Also less crowded. Jen and I were the only ones around for most of the sightseeing.

That night we made flour tortillas at the camp where Jen lives. Two Honduran women who live at camp tried to advise us, but the tortillas were not quite up to standard. We had fun, though.

On Monday, December 24, we drove and then hiked to a waterfall. The drive was crazy--all dirt roads, fording little streams, and finally parking in what turned out to be inches-deep manure! Which we then proceeded to walk through.

The waterfall was very hidden--definitely NOT a tourist attraction, as no gringos ever would've found it without help from the locals.

Later, after we washed it, Jen's Isuzu Rodeo wouldn't start (not because of the washing), and we had to clutch-start it with the help of a mechanic and local missionary nurse. That was cool. I want to learn to clutch-start a car.

Nothing about this day felt like Christmas Eve, but it was fun nevertheless.

I'm not posting pictures, because you can see all of them in Jen's Facebook album entitled Hidden Waterfalls in Pinalejos and El Puente. Pinalejos is the little town outside the camp. Check out the awesome waterfall! Los Cascados!

In Between

Happy New Year! I celebrated January 1 by putting my flannel sheets on my bed and taking a cold walk around the neighborhood and seeing an awesome flaming sunset. Later, I will probably do some laundry and also take out the trash. 2008 has been packed with excitement so far.

Anyway, I suppose I should do some kind of 2007 Year in Review, but this year has been fairly unremarkable, at least as far as I can tell. (There's always the chance that in hindsight these years could be incredibly important, but I'll let you know if that happens). In the Sad Things of 2007 column, two of my best friends moved away this year, and I miss them. Under the Good Things header, I came more into my own at work, and feel like I have much more to offer than I did last year at this time. The joy of a job that you actually like can't really be overstated. It's crucial.

I kept all three of my 2007 resolutions: figure out retirement funds, go to the dentist twice, buy a MINI, and that makes me hesitant to make any 2008 resolutions, unless they can be as easily and definitively measured. I should go to the doctor, so I'll make that a resolution. And my budget really needs some help (quote of 2007: "My finances are shit. I really need to get married.") So, my other resolution will be to start saving for an emergency fund, and also tithe regularly. (Yikes. Now I have to actually do it).

Okay, back to Honduras. Going through day-by-day is exhausting me, so I will probably skip over some stuff. The highlights of Saturday, December 22, were our trip to a botanical gardens and a spontaneous trip to a professional soccer game in the evening. We heard a rumor that it was the Honduran Cup, but that was never confirmed. Now, why I am I still using words? Here are pictures!

Giant Bamboo!
(Mark is standing in front for scale).


The Melaleuca Tree


The Mangosteen Tree!


A REAL LIVE Mangosteen!


Cannonball Tree. The balls are ornamental.


Cool Red-and-Green Palm trees


Jen is frightened by the deadly Strychnine Tree . . .
Don't touch or YOU WILL DIE!


Cool pink flower . . .


. . . that drops its petals everywhere.


Sitting in the river at the Botanical Gardens . . .
this felt like being in PA.


Two lanes quickly turns into eight unorganized lanes on the way to the soccer game.


The stadium at night


Inside the game


What it was like after a goal . . . can you spot the shower of beer?


Look what we found in an Honduran grocery store!
From Leola, PA . . . and we know these Hesses