Just sayin'

Thank goodness I have my blog when Facebook sends me over the edge!

Currently one of my former co-workers is asking for opinions as to whether she should pierce the ears of her 2-month-old baby daughter. I would LOVE to weigh in on this discussion, and indeed I thought about it, when there was only one comment. But thank goodness I didn’t, because right now there are a whole bunch of people saying that they did it to their daughters or had it done when they were babies and don’t even remember, and it's all very very fine and good.

My comment was going to be: “Pierced ears on babies just scream ‘trailer park’ to me.”

Which would’ve offended not only my former co-worker but also all of her commenters, some of whom I know.

So now I will just write it here: piercing your baby daughters’ ears is trashy! Plus, why force her into the girly-stereotype when she is just a baby? Gender shouldn’t matter so much—the kid is two months old and has no idea what “girl” or “boy” even means. Why are you forcing your desires on to her?

I have a tendency to sometimes state my opinions freely; the other night at dinner I was telling my friends that more than three or four attendants (per side) at a wedding is just over-the-top and unnecessary. And then I thought shortly afterward that perhaps someone AT the table had had more than four. Whoops!

But whatever—these are just opinions, no matter how vehemently I subscribe to them. You can do what you want. Seven bridesmaids, seven groomsmen, six flower girls, and pierced ears for all your baby girls. Just don’t expect me to like it.

August and everything after

I have decided that August should be a month of vacation.

For everyone. In the whole country.

Except maybe hotel and restaurant peeps, who could only have 2 weeks off. Same for hospital and nursing home staff. And maybe one dentist per practice would have to stick around for emergency root canals and such.

Otherwise, I say we shut ‘er down.

And I mean everything. Offices go dark. Mechanics quit fixing stuff. Bloggers quit blogging. 24-hour news channels, the scourge of modern life, just shut off their programming and run old-timey clips of animals, like a chimp washing a cat. (It couldn’t be any worse than what they do now.)

All websites put up a big “Returning September 1” banner and go offline.

August is a useless month, work-wise, and should be spent somewhere cool and fun. Like the beach or the mountains or another country.

Six weeks of paid vacation, four of which need to be taken during August.

This is my socialist plan.

You know what's weird . . .

. . . walking out of your house and seeing twins first thing in the morning. Bah! Seeing double! What’s happening?!

. . . working out on an elliptical at the gym and seeing a shot of an almost identical gym on CNN . . . where a shooter has just killed 3 women.

. . . carrying a tomato around in your purse and a watermelon buckled into the front seat of the car. I feel as though I should write a poem about summer fruits and veggies appearing in random places.

. . . googling your own name and realizing you personally are nowhere on the first three pages. There are a lot of illustrious women out there who share my name, and it’s not even THAT common. (There are also a lot of spam sites.)

. . . knowing your little brother is 28 years old today. If he’s that old, than what am I . . .