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Why do I read comments on the internet?
I already have slightly misanthropic tendencies, and they are only exaggerated by comments on things like CNN’s Ticker, which is a political blog. The stupidity of the comments on that thing make my blood pressure skyrocket, and yet I keep going back. It’s like watching Bill O’Reilly just so you can get mad at him.
(Speaking of, did you see his Inside Edition freakout video? That man is horrible.)
So, I just need to quit going there. The Hillary vs. Obama discussions in the Ticker is what put me over the edge. Hillary’s got quite a group of vocal supporters, people proclaiming that OMG OBAMA CAN’T WIN IN NOVEMBER!!!! WHITE PEOPLE WILL NOT VOTE FOR HIM!!!! HILLARY IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BEAT MCCAIN AND I WILL NEVER VOTE FOR OBAMA OR HIS HATER SUPPORTRES. HILLARY OR MCCAIN ’08!!!!!!!
Basically written exactly like that.
Or they’ll direct messages directly to Obama or Clinton—like they come onto CNN and read the comments. I worry for the future of our country.
But . . . my favorite pop culture board (the AV Club) is always rife with hilarious comments. Yesterday’s there was a post about cocktails, specifically Sex & the City themed drinks, and that got the commenters riffing on possible LOST-themed drinks.
Here’s a sampling:
The Sayid: Fig-flavored syrup mixed with coke and Vladimir Vodka. Like, you know, cause figs are popular in the mid-east, right? And the coke keeps it from being too ethnic.
The Jack: Empire apple juice (the fruit of leaders) and cinnamon mixed with Vladimir in a powerful mug.
The Sawyer: Vladimir with a roophie slipped in. You never know when that Sawyer's going to play some con!
The Bernard: Vladimir Vodka strait up with a Worther's Original floating in it. And when ever you get it, you just wish you could get rid of it. It’s the worst drink at the bar
The Hurley: Mix Vladimir Vodka and Dharma-issue Ranch Dressing. Blend.
The Charlie: Bombay Sapphire and heroine w/ a splash of sea water
The Claire: A Foster's and Glenlivet boilermaker topped with breast milk.
The Michael: MAAAAALLLLLLTTT liquor and Vladimir vodka
The Jin: Gin.
The Mikhail Bakunin: Vodka + whatever you want. You make it yourself because you don't need some damned elitist bartender to tell you how to construct your drink. Also, free refills keep coming back unexpectedly.
And my favorite (non-Lost related):
The M. Night Shymalan: Nothing. With a twist.
And so, internet comments have been redeemed.
I already have slightly misanthropic tendencies, and they are only exaggerated by comments on things like CNN’s Ticker, which is a political blog. The stupidity of the comments on that thing make my blood pressure skyrocket, and yet I keep going back. It’s like watching Bill O’Reilly just so you can get mad at him.
(Speaking of, did you see his Inside Edition freakout video? That man is horrible.)
So, I just need to quit going there. The Hillary vs. Obama discussions in the Ticker is what put me over the edge. Hillary’s got quite a group of vocal supporters, people proclaiming that OMG OBAMA CAN’T WIN IN NOVEMBER!!!! WHITE PEOPLE WILL NOT VOTE FOR HIM!!!! HILLARY IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BEAT MCCAIN AND I WILL NEVER VOTE FOR OBAMA OR HIS HATER SUPPORTRES. HILLARY OR MCCAIN ’08!!!!!!!
Basically written exactly like that.
Or they’ll direct messages directly to Obama or Clinton—like they come onto CNN and read the comments. I worry for the future of our country.
But . . . my favorite pop culture board (the AV Club) is always rife with hilarious comments. Yesterday’s there was a post about cocktails, specifically Sex & the City themed drinks, and that got the commenters riffing on possible LOST-themed drinks.
Here’s a sampling:
The Sayid: Fig-flavored syrup mixed with coke and Vladimir Vodka. Like, you know, cause figs are popular in the mid-east, right? And the coke keeps it from being too ethnic.
The Jack: Empire apple juice (the fruit of leaders) and cinnamon mixed with Vladimir in a powerful mug.
The Sawyer: Vladimir with a roophie slipped in. You never know when that Sawyer's going to play some con!
The Bernard: Vladimir Vodka strait up with a Worther's Original floating in it. And when ever you get it, you just wish you could get rid of it. It’s the worst drink at the bar
The Hurley: Mix Vladimir Vodka and Dharma-issue Ranch Dressing. Blend.
The Charlie: Bombay Sapphire and heroine w/ a splash of sea water
The Claire: A Foster's and Glenlivet boilermaker topped with breast milk.
The Michael: MAAAAALLLLLLTTT liquor and Vladimir vodka
The Jin: Gin.
The Mikhail Bakunin: Vodka + whatever you want. You make it yourself because you don't need some damned elitist bartender to tell you how to construct your drink. Also, free refills keep coming back unexpectedly.
And my favorite (non-Lost related):
The M. Night Shymalan: Nothing. With a twist.
And so, internet comments have been redeemed.
posted by Melanie at 10:54 AM
