Bits and Pieces

Mel Comes Through (again)

Today one of my co-workers came into the area where I sit with two of my homegirls and asked if any of us could think of a really cheesy friendship song. And of course I had one ready immediately. The homegirls laughed at me, because I was all over it. It was like I’d just been waiting for someone to ask that question. I'm always waiting for stuff like that.

The song? Friends are Friends Forever, of course. Cheesiest song EVAH. You can see Michael W. Smith singing it here. And yet, even though I laugh at its cheesiness, it still reminds me of 8^th grade graduations and last nights at camp and people moving away while I was in middle school. Those first few notes take me back there, and there's a poignant element that even the cheese can't completely erase.

"Patronizing Men" Episode #256
I despise being patronized more than anything in life. Tonight at the gym I was on the elliptical, doing my thing, and this big guy (muscled, I mean) carrying around his gallon of water and energy drink, climbed on the one right next to me. There were others, not next to me, that were available, but that didn’t matter to him. I finished my workout—3 miles, 40 minutes, 500 calories (standard fare for me)--and climbed off. He gestured at me to remove my headphones since he was going to say something.

“Were you seeing your heart rate on here?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I answered. I never really care about that.

“Well, that was actually my heart rate you were seeing, so you if you’re counting your calories you probably want to deduct about 20%.”

I just looked at him. Why would HIS heart rate be showing up on MY elliptical? Unless there was some kind of censor?

He noticed my confusion. “Were you watching your calories?”

“Yes.”

“Well, they were based on my heart rate.”

By this point I was just annoyed. “Yes, but they were about right for me.”

“Did you see your heart rate on there?”

“Yes, but I never pay attention to that. My calories were about the same as they always are.”

“Are you sure?” This killed me. Am I sure? Are you kidding me? I’ve been doing this for over a year. It’s always the same—I know what I’m doing. Why does this guy think he has to advise me? Is this some kind of ill-advised pickup line? Cause the one way to completely turn me off forever is to be a patronizing douche.

“Yep.” I gave him a fake smile and went to the locker room.

Weather Elements
It’s snowing and sleeting and generally being difficult weather-wise. The MINI is actually okay in the snow, I’ve decided, because even if the back end slides around, well, there isn’t really a back end. It’s just like a big block, and that makes it harder to lose control. So I should be good. I managed to get around town today just fine.