So much time to make up
All day long I have had Wasted on the Way stuck in my head--this song by Crosby, Stills, & Nash.
When I was a kid, my mom played CSN and listened to their greatest hits a lot, and as a result I associate those songs with cleaning the house on Saturday morning and the smell of lemon Pledge. So I don't really feel all that fond of them. But Wasted on the Way is a new one for me, just like Southern Cross was a new one a few years ago, and I love them both.
Anyway, two years ago around this time I was having a lovely and exciting conversation with someone that later resulted in a not-so-happy ending. I blame myself for most of this--my own naivete and ridiculousness--but I was pretty depressed for awhile. That summer was not a good time--I was the most miserable I'd been in a very long time.
Which is so annoying to think about now. Why? Why did I waste all that time? I couldn't HELP it . . . had I been able to change my feelings I would've, but I cried and blogged almost every day (THAT blog has been long since deleted) and just generally spent most of my time moping.
That seems like so long ago. Two years, but really I can't imagine it anymore. I can't reconnect with those feelings, or even understand where they came from or what I was thinking. I only know that it sucked, and I'm really glad I'm not there anymore and probably never will be again. That particular heartbreak isn't the kind that can be repeated. (New kinds will always be popping up, though! Cheerful thought.)
I suppose that I shouldn't think of that time as wasted. I learned things and moved on and things are better now. I don't really regret it. But I can't help thinking that I could've been doing something better. Where were my friends? Why was I just lying around the house being miserable?
Oh, well. It's all just water underneath the bridge at this point. Which is what Wasted on the Way talks about . . . and now I've come back to the reason I brought that song up in the first place. You should go find it. It's good.
When I was a kid, my mom played CSN and listened to their greatest hits a lot, and as a result I associate those songs with cleaning the house on Saturday morning and the smell of lemon Pledge. So I don't really feel all that fond of them. But Wasted on the Way is a new one for me, just like Southern Cross was a new one a few years ago, and I love them both.
Anyway, two years ago around this time I was having a lovely and exciting conversation with someone that later resulted in a not-so-happy ending. I blame myself for most of this--my own naivete and ridiculousness--but I was pretty depressed for awhile. That summer was not a good time--I was the most miserable I'd been in a very long time.
Which is so annoying to think about now. Why? Why did I waste all that time? I couldn't HELP it . . . had I been able to change my feelings I would've, but I cried and blogged almost every day (THAT blog has been long since deleted) and just generally spent most of my time moping.
That seems like so long ago. Two years, but really I can't imagine it anymore. I can't reconnect with those feelings, or even understand where they came from or what I was thinking. I only know that it sucked, and I'm really glad I'm not there anymore and probably never will be again. That particular heartbreak isn't the kind that can be repeated. (New kinds will always be popping up, though! Cheerful thought.)
I suppose that I shouldn't think of that time as wasted. I learned things and moved on and things are better now. I don't really regret it. But I can't help thinking that I could've been doing something better. Where were my friends? Why was I just lying around the house being miserable?
Oh, well. It's all just water underneath the bridge at this point. Which is what Wasted on the Way talks about . . . and now I've come back to the reason I brought that song up in the first place. You should go find it. It's good.
Labels: Music and Lyrics, Random Ramble, Time Flies
posted by Melanie at 9:57 PM
