American Girls
So, I’ve never been a hot girl.
And now that I’m 28, the chances are getting pretty slim that that’s ever going to happen. I don’t want this to sound whiny, because I certainly don’t think being considered “hot” is the most important thing in the world . . . not even close.
(“I know this obsession with thinness is unhealthy and antifeminist...but that's what a fat girl would say!”)
Plus, there are lots of women who fall somewhere in the middle, who are attractive to some and not to others . . . you can’t separate every person neatly into “hot” and “not” categories.
However, working where I do, in an environment where I am one of the older women (believe it or not), there is significant interest in who is hot and who is not. When I was younger, I would assume that people were thinking nasty things about me, comparing me to the hot girls and thinking how I was not hot. However, I’ve decided that isn’t really the case. They aren’t thinking about how NOT hot I am, they just aren’t thinking about me at all. Even when it’s not spoken, there’s a certain amount of extra attention that gets paid to the hot girls. It’s actually kind of funny to watch. When it’s not making me DIE INSIDE.
Just kidding. Most of the time I’m okay with myself. But sometimes I wish, for just a day, that I could know what it’s like to be a hot girl. To have men’s eyes follow me when I walk through a room, or have them be extra nice and helpful and attention-paying.
I suppose that I could diet forever, and get some essential plastic surgery and blond highlights. But that wouldn’t make me a hot girl . . . just a “Swan” version of a hot girl, which is hardly the same thing.
Maybe next lifetime.
And now that I’m 28, the chances are getting pretty slim that that’s ever going to happen. I don’t want this to sound whiny, because I certainly don’t think being considered “hot” is the most important thing in the world . . . not even close.
(“I know this obsession with thinness is unhealthy and antifeminist...but that's what a fat girl would say!”)
Plus, there are lots of women who fall somewhere in the middle, who are attractive to some and not to others . . . you can’t separate every person neatly into “hot” and “not” categories.
However, working where I do, in an environment where I am one of the older women (believe it or not), there is significant interest in who is hot and who is not. When I was younger, I would assume that people were thinking nasty things about me, comparing me to the hot girls and thinking how I was not hot. However, I’ve decided that isn’t really the case. They aren’t thinking about how NOT hot I am, they just aren’t thinking about me at all. Even when it’s not spoken, there’s a certain amount of extra attention that gets paid to the hot girls. It’s actually kind of funny to watch. When it’s not making me DIE INSIDE.
Just kidding. Most of the time I’m okay with myself. But sometimes I wish, for just a day, that I could know what it’s like to be a hot girl. To have men’s eyes follow me when I walk through a room, or have them be extra nice and helpful and attention-paying.
I suppose that I could diet forever, and get some essential plastic surgery and blond highlights. But that wouldn’t make me a hot girl . . . just a “Swan” version of a hot girl, which is hardly the same thing.
Maybe next lifetime.
posted by Melanie at 11:04 PM
