it's only words

Here are two funny English usage stories:

1) My friend Joy was first introduced to car lingo about five years ago. She hadn't really known much about cars before then, and when she met my family members (and started dating one of them), she started hearing a lot more about cars and car parts. (So did I, now that I think about it. I used to know what an e-cam was).

Anyway, one night we were out and following a car with one of those giant spoilers on the back. The ridiculous kind, that make the car look like it is going to take off. We laughed, and Joy made some comment about the big "disturber."

"'Disturber'?" I repeated, confused for a minute. And then I understood what she meant. And then we laughed and laughed.

2) My family was at a restaurant in Alberta and we asked the waitress, who spoke with a French accent, about the soup of day.

"Zee soup of zee day, is, I think, Smash," she answered.

We all looked at each other, a bit confused, as she left the table to get our drinks. When she came back, someone asked her again, hoping for clarification:"What exactly is the soup of the day?"

She furrowed her brow, searching for something in English that was alluding her. "Smash?" she said again. "Like pumpkin? I think it is called 'smash'."

My mom was the one who finally understood. "Oh," she exclaimed, light dawning. "You mean squash."

The waitress smiled and looked relieved. "Yes!" she said. "Squash!"

And we all laughed and laughed.