That's what friends are for
I read an article last week about people in the US and how lonely we all are. Apparently, 25 % of people in America have no one they can confide in. And the average American only has two people to talk to, as opposed to 1985, when the average American had three.
So, the number of people we feel we can talk to, about serious things, has dropped from three to two in twenty years. I wonder if in another twenty it'll be down to one.
The study blames all kind of things: busyness, the technology in our homes that keeps us from connecting with real people, etc.
When I first read about this study, I nodded along. Because I feel like I really have very few people I can confide in. And then I started thinking about it, and I realized that's totally not true. While there may be personal things that I only want to talk about with a few people, that's my choice. There are tons of people who would listen to me, if I chose to tell them things.
And it's interesting the way that various needs are met by various people depending on the situation. With some friends I can talk about anything. With others, our topics of conversations are more specific, but still important.
When I started adding up all the people who are a part of my support group, I felt really blessed. I've got my friends, of course. My close friends who live locally, and my college friends, who I talk to via email but who would be here in a second if I were having some kind of crisis. I've got my church--people who would help me move, visit me in the hospital if I were there, support me if my parents were sick, etc. I've got my family--I'm really lucky to have a bunch of cousins who are actually friends in addition to being relations. I've got my parents, who I give me all kinds of advice and help about work and houses and finances and stuff. And more than that, just love me without conditions.
WhenI think about that, I know that I'm "above average." Really lucky, actually.
And I think that pretty much everyone who reads my blog is included in the above list.
So thanks.
So, the number of people we feel we can talk to, about serious things, has dropped from three to two in twenty years. I wonder if in another twenty it'll be down to one.
The study blames all kind of things: busyness, the technology in our homes that keeps us from connecting with real people, etc.
When I first read about this study, I nodded along. Because I feel like I really have very few people I can confide in. And then I started thinking about it, and I realized that's totally not true. While there may be personal things that I only want to talk about with a few people, that's my choice. There are tons of people who would listen to me, if I chose to tell them things.
And it's interesting the way that various needs are met by various people depending on the situation. With some friends I can talk about anything. With others, our topics of conversations are more specific, but still important.
When I started adding up all the people who are a part of my support group, I felt really blessed. I've got my friends, of course. My close friends who live locally, and my college friends, who I talk to via email but who would be here in a second if I were having some kind of crisis. I've got my church--people who would help me move, visit me in the hospital if I were there, support me if my parents were sick, etc. I've got my family--I'm really lucky to have a bunch of cousins who are actually friends in addition to being relations. I've got my parents, who I give me all kinds of advice and help about work and houses and finances and stuff. And more than that, just love me without conditions.
WhenI think about that, I know that I'm "above average." Really lucky, actually.
And I think that pretty much everyone who reads my blog is included in the above list.
So thanks.
posted by Melanie at 7:37 PM
