"There's No Ego in Yoga"

That’s what my yoga teacher says. I like my yoga teacher, she’s blond and freckled, probably in her mid-thirties, and she told me after my first class that she was surprised I hadn’t taken a yoga class before, because I looked pretty good. She’s also pregnant, which she told us two classes ago, and I’m curious to see how she continues to do yoga as the months go by. Especially chaturanga push-ups.

But I think I am a bad yoga student. Our teacher is always telling us that there is no destination, and that the class is about our own personal journey . . . that we shouldn’t worry about what everyone else is doing, and only what feels good to us. Lots of Zen stuff like that. And yet I find myself looking around at everyone anyway. “That girl’s so good,” I think. “I want to try that crazy hand-bind. You can tell she’s been practicing forever.” And of course I look around to see who’s “worse” than me at all the poses, and who can’t stay in them for very long.

Just to see how I’m doing in comparison. This is wrong.

At my last class I set myself up on the side of the room and tried not to look around. I partially succeeded.

Still, though, there’s a girl who’s really bad, and if I stand near her, you can forget Zen.

Because all I can think about is the fact that she can’t straighten her “top” arm while in Triangle pose.